We're assuming -- that's the royal 'we', mind -- that you're all familiar with the Friday afternoon schtick by now. We dump the serious, analytical assessments of the CIO career, governance, alignment, ERP, BPM, SOA and what have you in favour of fanciful specualtion on what would happen if technology suppliers had transformed themselves into football teams (here and here), rock bands (here and here) or, of course, biscuits.
So let's skip the trailers, the Pearl & Dean spot (video here) and the Kia-Ora ad, put your little wooden paddle in the ice cream tub, remember to keep your hat on to avoid the stuff being hurled by the kids in the Upper Circle and get ready for If Tech Firms Were Movies.
Sun would be Citizen Kane. All-American saga of a driven man who recruits talented comrades to take on and crush the old guard with innovation before coming down to earth with a bump. Great promise, ego and fabulous wealth with a tragic ending that will have you reaching for the HandyAndies.
Microsoft would be Wall Street. Tale of towering wealth creation with an anti-hero who believes that 'greed is good' and sells what some call 'junk'. After being pursued by lawyers and regulators, the star has since redeemed himself with acts of philanthropy.
Yahoo! would be Revenge of the Nerds. Juvenile pranks by a group of college frat kids having the time of their lives. They end up with the girls and money while the jocks end up with nothing! Then in a crazy sequel they turn down, like, billions of dollars! AND they put exclamation marks everywhere for no reason!
Google would be Gandhi. Modern classic tale of tortured genius who said 'don't be evil' and took a path of non-violent resistance to dominant forces.
Apple would be I'm Not There. Puzzling documentary about a messianic icon of modern culture famous for gnomic pronouncements and cult following. Even when they're not sure what he's talking about, the faithful nod along and buy anything he puts out. His best stuff came out years ago but recent years have seen a remarkable revival. Disbelievers say it's just a load of oversold rubbish peddled to art-school suckers who need to get a life.
SCO would be Heaven's Gate. Disastrous, drawn-out mess created by a bully but it came out of some great elements and some see it as a tragically tainted gem.
That's The End. Have a great weekend and remember that, in the biggest movie of them all, there's no guarantee of a sequel.