Ever wondered what bands technology firms would be if they somehow transformed into groups of musicians? Me neither until today but ever since my (pretty excellent) blog on If Software Firms Were Football Teams, I have been looking for ways to repeat that formula of Friday afternoon idle speculation with a teaspoon of zaniness and soupcon of dry humour. That search turned up the nearly-as-good blog that was Extra Time: If More Software Firms Were Football Teams resulted in almost as much traffic. I thought about something with a bit of zeitgeist like If Software Firms Were Characters In The Wire but reconsidered when I realised I had never seen The Wire. I then thought about a post called something like If Software Firms Were Characters In Entourage but there really weren't that many points of comparison and Entourage is broadcast on the crummy ITV2 so its appeal is limited to the tasteful few.
So that's why I thought I'd broaden things out to include all tech firms and come up with a few trumped up comparisons with the reason God gave young people ears: rock and roll bands. If you like, send me your own -- and have a great weekend.
Microsoft would be The Eagles. Left-coast rockers that started out in the Seventies. The tunes haven't changed in a long time, the ticket price is eye watering and they're not as big as they were, but you know exactly what you're going to get and it's all very familiar in a toe-tapping way.
Novell would be The Who. Former chart-toppers now known by young shavers as 'the who?'
IBM would be the Rolling Stones. Scandal, age and infirmity can do nothing to block this indestructible force formed in the time of your grandparents. Some people say they did a deal with the devil back in the Sixties. Not to be confused with Crosby, Stlls and Nash tribute outfit Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt.
BT would be Queen. British royalty: the frontman changes and the price is high but when they ask for our money we all stump up.
AT&T would be the Allman Brothers. In the UK we'd forgotten they're still going and can anybody remember the last good thing they did? Still big in America though... probably.
Google would be Coldplay. Heralded as big 10 years ago but recently not quite at their best.
Yahoo would be Kings of Leon. Just a poor man's Coldplay really.
Oracle would be Pink Floyd. Still here and big with corporate types even though the last big hits came over 20 years ago.
HP would be The Ramones. The garage outfit that got big.
McKinsey would be REM. Can you understand the words?
Accenture would be Starship. Changing of names left us all confused. Costs a packet to see them in action.
CA would be Wishbone Ash. Been noodling along in that same groove for, what, 30 years now?
Apple would be The Beatles. Genius will never go away, even if they're now reduced to just one outstanding talent.
Adobe would be The Bootleg Beatles. Word-perfect tribute act to The Beatles.
Dell would be Status Quo. Duh-dum duh-dum duh-dum.
SAP would be Kraftwerk. The ultimate German operator of the pocket calculator.
Philips would be Focus. Absurd, innovative, tremendous and quite possibly mad Cloggies.
Dassault would be Telephone. Huge in France. Never heard of them.